ugh.

I'm having a bad self-image day. really really bad. I was trying to find something to wear just now after my shower, and I need to do laundry, so there weren't a lot of choices. I came to the very depressing realization that over half the clothes in my closet don't currently fit me, and many of the ones that do are *gulp* maternity clothes. Even though I haven't been pregnant for, oh, about 19 months now. I just can't seem to lose weight. I was doing well for a while on Weight Watchers, but I got very unmotivated and I've given up on that for now. I can't seem to stick to any sort of diet, really, and forget finding the time to exercise, especially with the hours that smw_patriot has been working lately. I know my weight is creeping up toward the number-that-dares-not-speak-its-name, ie the weight above which I've never gone and never ever want to go. My back hurts from standing in the kitchen to cook, from unloading the dishwasher, from being at rehearsal, and I *know* it's because of my weight. But that still doesn't stop me from stuffing my face with ice cream and chips and whatever else I find to munch on.

I think in a lot of ways, it's hard because I'm at home all the time with the little boy. The refrigerator is *right* there, he needs to snack a lot, and so I snack a lot. But I've got to do something about this. I've even (briefly) considered weaning him so that I could do SlimFast or diet pills or something, but I know that's not the answer.

It's just a very depressing subject for me, and one I'm not sure how to cope with.

ugh.

I'm having a bad self-image day. really really bad. I was trying to find something to wear just now after my shower, and I need to do laundry, so there weren't a lot of choices. I came to the very depressing realization that over half the clothes in my closet don't currently fit me, and many of the ones that do are *gulp* maternity clothes. Even though I haven't been pregnant for, oh, about 19 months now. I just can't seem to lose weight. I was doing well for a while on Weight Watchers, but I got very unmotivated and I've given up on that for now. I can't seem to stick to any sort of diet, really, and forget finding the time to exercise, especially with the hours that smw_patriot has been working lately. I know my weight is creeping up toward the number-that-dares-not-speak-its-name, ie the weight above which I've never gone and never ever want to go. My back hurts from standing in the kitchen to cook, from unloading the dishwasher, from being at rehearsal, and I *know* it's because of my weight. But that still doesn't stop me from stuffing my face with ice cream and chips and whatever else I find to munch on.

I think in a lot of ways, it's hard because I'm at home all the time with the little boy. The refrigerator is *right* there, he needs to snack a lot, and so I snack a lot. But I've got to do something about this. I've even (briefly) considered weaning him so that I could do SlimFast or diet pills or something, but I know that's not the answer.

It's just a very depressing subject for me, and one I'm not sure how to cope with.